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Writer's pictureCaroline Matthews

Just how do you balance diplomacy with self-care shaped assertiveness?

Updated: Sep 28, 2022



Fellow introverts might probably relate, that in moments like this - when the desire to lock yourself away in solitude is all-consuming - there can be a certain tendency towards ‘never-again’ thinking - something which actually (once the overwhelm has subsided) can seem ridiculous at best... and maybe rude at worst!


Over the years, I have become *slightly* more adept at not just preventing my social battery from getting into the red in the first place (by absenting myself at the first sign of a tea craving), but also by not beating too much around the people-pleasing bush in my attempts to balance diplomacy with self-care shaped assertiveness.


This fundamental challenge - of reconciling FOMO, social expectations AND the need for alone time - has been a steep learning curve, to say the least, and unsurprisingly one with several ‘friendships’ and behind-the-scenes meltdowns in its wake.


Ultimately, however, a ‘happy’ medium has been cultivated which DOESN’T involve vanishing into the introvert abyss until further notice…or lapsing into the brutality of an angsty youth with attitude!!


Luckily as well, it helps that in these days of bigger-picture thinking and mental health intelligence, having a limited capacity for small talk and ‘schmoozing’ is not just acceptable… but relatable, and ironically often a talking point (and social anxiety antidote) in itself!


To this end, a low social threshold is no longer a ‘weakness’ to self flagellate over. Instead, it’s a character trait which if ‘owned’ and owned up to, allows for the kind of thought-gathering, tea-drinking, blanket-snuggling strength-training that many a ‘best self’ is built upon…even if the #gohardorgohome blueprint does say otherwise.


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