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Caroline Matthews

Learn to love your imperfections


We hear a lot about the importance of learning to love our imperfections, but how do we put this into practice?

It’s a somewhat interesting and conflicting idea, particularly as, generally speaking, our understanding of love (in a romantic sense) is that it is something that it is wholly subconscious, and therefore out of our control.

So... how does it work, when we are looking to love the ‘imperfections’ that we naturally, instinctively don’t?

The secret, it seems, lies in our perspective. The temptation here was to say mindset, but since this matter has more to do with how we SEE ourselves, perspective seems to be most appropriate.

Perspective, after all, is EVERYTHING when it comes to interpreting what we see.

Everything and everybody has the potential to look different when you shift your focus ( a phenomenon that many an artist will testify to) and training the eye to see hidden depths and details, as well as the bigger picture, is an effective way to see beyond the superficial and first impressions.

First impressions count for very little when it comes to love, appreciation and respect. As anyone who has ever fallen in love will know, love grows in the most curious and unexpected of places. From this stance, what we don't 'love' about our bodies right now, we might have every potential for growing to love in the future.

In many cases, we are limiting our potential for a healthy 'self relationship' in the same way we might a romantic one. We have our expectations and 'types', and very often is it easy to dismiss anything that doesn't conform. Be it a potential date, or a particular body part!

Ultimately, however, love is not a product of perfection. It is the sum total of a much more complex process requiring an open mind, time and investment. Whether its a date with yourself... or another.

I read a story once, about a couple whose marriage was on the verge of divorce, at which point the wife made one final request to her husband. That he carry her up to bed, and down stairs in the morning, every day until their separation was finalised. The story unfolded with the awkwardness of putting this request into practice, but ultimately, the small, token, daily act of closeness served to reignite a love between the couple.

I have no doubt, it would be the same with any love lost with our own bodies. The more we look and familiarise ourselves with... ourselves, the greater the potential for love to grow.

Love is blind, and even the things we might dislike about ourselves have the potential to become less significant (attractive even?) under the rose tint of some self adoration.

Invest the time. Get to know your body (LOOK AT IT. MOVE IT. TOUCH IT. DRESS IT) Make a date (or several) with yourself. And the rest will follow...


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